u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
