Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
