I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
