Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
