420 ftw
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
