Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
