right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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