The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
