he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize