U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
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