Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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