You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
