for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Someone came in the potted fern
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
