we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
