you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
