I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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