also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i may or may not be watching the land before time
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
