i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
