the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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