I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
