There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize