...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
