i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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