so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
