Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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