hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
