Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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