so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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