we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
