Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
