Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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