i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
