oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
