bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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