dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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