i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
