Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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