You just made me feel so damn special
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
