is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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