I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
