I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
