I'm lost and stupid without you.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
