Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
