Even water is tasting like jack daniels
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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