he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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