anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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