I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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