You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
