I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
