Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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