clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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