The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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