i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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