Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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