I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
