1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
